England are a yellow snail with black stripes

Watching England bat must have been a bit like watching this guy. You see the colours and you anticipate something spectacular, but after the hours of tedium that you spent plotting the murder of Pietersen and crying into your pillow for a swift death, you realize that it is still a f##kin snail.
Keep watching him. First session tomorrow, he is expected to morph into a giant genital.