New guy on the pantheon

The last post was by Avinash. Unlike the (now almost mythical) TM and the (sporadically active) Sajith, Avinash cannot be described by what he does in life. But if one were to list what he does not do...

Welcome Avinash.

A confidence player

The first innings had all his dazzling talent on display and the second was cut short just before he could bring out all his wares. If that nick had not happened, we might just have seen the first ODI double hundred. It is when you're faced by the full blast of his amazing talent that after the first instinct to thank heavens for the presence of divinity, the next is to tear your hair out in frustration. And in this frustration, I'd reckoned that nothing had really changed. I knew two years ago that Yuvraj Singh was one of the top 3 ODI batsmen in the world. I was confident then that by the end of 2008, he'd be averaging 4o plus, having played in 45 Tests. In Jan 2008, I knew that would not happen. Maybe next year.

Then I get an SMS.

"Write bitch", it said. "Dont fuckin wait for Sreesanth to bowl an outswinger at some drunk Malayali on Kovalam beach."

And then,

"If you have a conscience.."

And then the former CoS made a comment. And the current CoS had a rejoinder.

Yuvi is a confidence player says the CoS, someone who needs a "couple of good knocks in his belt". Two knocks, one high on fast food entertainment, and another high on "focus" have propelled him to the position of frontrunner to replace Ganguly in the Test lineup. So what about the first hundred? That came on the back of persistent Test failure and a bad run in the Sri Lanka ODIs and some average Ranji knocks. He did not need any under the belt for that, did he? So he is more than just a confidence player. He is also someone who can hit his way out of form. But can he graft his way out of bad form? If not, it means that he is susceptible to the extended run of very low scores, without the 150 ball thirty-nines that can save his spot in the Test team.

But the thing is..

The thing is that England is a good team to mark his Test comeback. They have good pacers who will test him even on placid tracks. Their lone spinner is not too far up the global spinner incompetence order that it won't be a huge challenge for him.

The opportunity to make a point is well within his grasp.

So long..

Oz-fatigue has kicked in. Like lovers, India and Oz spent the better part of two months titillating, rubbing, scratching, biting, gouging and slapping each other - before getting absolutely tired of each other. They will now wait a few years before meeting again - new perfumes, sexual techniques, new haircuts - all adding to the anticipation, not of winning over the other, but just to meet.

Meanwhile Ganguly, Dhoni, Kumble and Bob Dylan sit around a fire.

When we meet again
Introduced as friends
Please don't let on that you knew me when
I was hungry and it was your world.
Ah, you fake just like a woman, yes, you do
You make love just like a woman, yes, you do
Then you ache just like a woman
But you break just like a little girl.

The Long Ganguly Goodbye - Part II

Why is everyone so fkin loathe to acknowledge Ganguly the batsman? All right, so he was not a modern batting great, but the admiration from Roebuck and Hopps is so grudging that Giant Alien Lizards who landed from Mars last night might be tempted to believe that he made a cricket career exclusively from politicking and being a fantastic leader of men and a shrewd (not brilliant though) strategist. He is an all-time ODI great - almost up there with Tendulkar. Absolutely ridiculous that nobody acknowledges his ODI record as a fact that speaks for itself, rather than as one part of a highly succesful opening partnership. Perhaps his Test record does not merit that he share Fab-ness with the other three, but he did tame the best bowlers in the business at different times in his career. Perhaps not consistently enough to justify his talent, but he did justify his place in the strongest middle order of the era for a larger part of 113 Test matches. So fk off.

Could someone confirm this..

..because I am just too lazy. Apparently, is Sauravda scores a hundred tomorrow (or in the 2nd innings), he will join Greg Chappel as the only two players to have played (x) number of Tests and scored a hundred in their first and last matches.

Is it true? If it is, how fkin ironic is that?

Crazy kiya re

What Guru Greg did not achieve, Bishen Bedi seems to have stitched up in his pocket. So it would seem from a reading of the scorecard at the end of days play at Nagpur. Jason Krezja has removed Sehwag, Dravid and Laxman, i.e. a chunk of the Indian runmachine. Those that watched him getting tonked by Yuvi and Rohit Sharma will be similarly amazed. I have not seen the highlights yet, but for an offspinner, there is a fine line between a batsman gifting a bowler his wicket and an offie inducing the error. So all I can say is: Krezja has already gone better than Gavin Robertson. Credit also to Ricky Ponting who finally tore up and pissed on the Memorandum on New Age Cricket. An offie needs an imaginative captain.

The power of the net

Thanks to Cricinfo and Cricbuzz for ensuring that a cricket mad Indian, who is unfortunately stuck up in an office with nothing other than an internet connection, can still savour the thrills and the spills of a highly anticipated test match. If it were not for these great websites and the men who run the show, I would have been reduced to a school student, begging the principal to show the cricket match live on the sole television in the school.
Now that is a great idea to be implemented in office.

Uncertainity Thy Name is Yousuf

Are there two Mohammad Yousuf's? One rivalling VVS Laxman and Mark Waugh for grace and elegance on the cricket field, the other acting as the exact opposite in real life - a comical mixture of indecision and rash thinking.

The erstwhile Yousuf Youhana's, on the field, exploits are the primary reason for his place in any cricket fan's heart. His timing has been astounding and for a brief span in 2006, he was the best batsman in the world bar none - at least based on statistics. While there have been criticisms regarding his apparent selfishness with the bat, Yousuf remains by some distance Pakistan's best batsman.

But, there is another side to Yousuf- his life outside the cricket ground. While his conversion from Christianity to Islam may be accepted on the altar of personal life, the latest saga related to the ICL cannot be blindly accepted . Here is the story in short.

In a fit of pique, after the 2007 World Cup, Yousuf joined ICL. On pressure from the PCB, he drops out of the rebel league. Instead, he offers his wares to the IPL. The ICL retaliated with legal action. Yousuf backed off. PCB announced their team with Yousuf in it. ICL announced that Yousuf was a part of the ICL fraternity. The story currently stays here with more to come for sure.

To me, Yousuf resembles Pakistani cricket. Exhilarating and Infuriating in equal measures. Cricket's Jekyll and Hyde - both the country and the man. If Hamlet, were a cricket follower , he would have one thing to say about both - "Uncertainty, thy name is ..."

The Soldier

It has been months since I wrote on cricket. The interest to watch had never waned, but the desire to write certainly had. I watched with frustration as the Indian batting struggled in SriLanka . The feeling changed to irritation as the latest battle between the Fourth Estate and the Indian veterans reached ludicrous levels. Yet, none of these emotions were so strong as to be represented in words. Ganguly's retirement plans almost forced me to tap the keyboard again. But, there was still a mental block to be overcome. The block was finally overcome by the retirement of India's finest test match winner - Anil Kumble.

It was inevitable that Anil Kumble would retire sometime during the 2008-2009 season. Age was catching up and the shoulder was complaining and the veteran had to bow, as all must, to Father Time. But, as Kumble was given a farewell which rivalled Steve Waugh's, it was tempting to look back on the many triumphs and the few failures which made him such a special cricketer. But, the cliche still holds, facts and figures can never do proper justice to a sportsman.

To me Kumble's greatest achievement is that in all the tests India won during the time he was in the team, he was India's foremost player - not Tendulkar or Dravid. He relentlessly rolled on, bowling over after over and ensuring that the batsmen didn't ever complain that the bowlers hadn't done their job. He was India's finest bowler, her greatest test player.

Congrats Anil for being such a great player and for rekindling a dying flame in me -writing.

About casting the first stone..

Apparently, I am a klutz. Hardly a week goes by without people commenting on my abilities at breaking expensive glasses and spilling food and drink on fancy carpets. One time, my friend's mother (in Bangalore) went to work somewhere in Africa and I practically moved in. A month and a half later, she returned to a house without cutlery. Not all of it was my handiwork. I did invite a few people home to take care of the remainder. Then there was the time that I finally moved into an apartment/house (people in Delhi will understand how dwelling areas aren't categorised easily, especially around Lajpat Nagar) and very soon, I realised the absolute pointlesness of buying breakable stuff. Carpets you ask? I was smarter than that.

Anyway, the point is this: I can't criticize the Indian fielding today... I have my moments where I have pulled off the spectacular catch, and completed a dream runout; but I can't remember the number of sitters I have spilt. So I will not spank the Indian fielding. Not today, not ever.

But if there is someone reading this who earnestly believes in their abilities as a safe fielder, then the floor is yours. I will stand by you while you spank, roast and waterboard them.

Why so excited?

For days now, the news media been inundated with articles announcing the death of Australian supremacy. So then will some Aussie chicks burn a few bails?

Much as I would love to see that, this burning would be more than a touch premature. For some reasons, all the articles seem to acknowledge that the Aussies are still numero uno, and yet they come out with headlines that are either heart-rending in their soppy sentimentality or completely misdirected and fucked up with their superciliousness.

Ok, so there was a margin of victory that hasn't been witnessed in a really long time. So? And there was the general lack-of-threat, a directionless in the field that was distinctly un-Australian.

India have had much worse losses - some of them in the recent past. Did that vault them from a middling team to minnowhood?

India have appeared far more lackadaisical in the field, never hitting the stumps, for matches and matches on end.

True the Aussies 'have lost a few great players, importantly two match winning bowlers, and now their batting cannot stand the strain of putting larger scores up on the board. And yet, if their team plays anywhere near potential it is really difficult for any team to beat them. There is the best batsman in the world, the best (at least a couple of months ago) fast bowler in the world, and the statistical anomaly known as Michael Hussey. In combination, and with inputs from Michael Clarke and Mitchell Johnson, this team can easily make themselves near impossible to beat. It requires coordinated excellence from all quarters of a team to do so. Mohali had attacking batting, good quick bowling, some swing wizardry, spin magic, solid fielding and assured captaincy from India. In the last 20 years, only Australia has consistently ticked all these boxes.

Plus, everyone ignores the cricket superstructure in Australia. Spinning reserves might seem a bit of a problem, but why doesn't anyone acknowledge Peter Siddle's impressive performance on debut? In some way, his performance was as much a source of relief and optimism to Australia as Mishra's was to India. Siddle ran in over after over, and got the ball to lift off an uncomfortable length. Shaun Marsh is on his way here. David Hussey is an impressive guy. And Andrew Symonds is still in the picture.

So basically, let us not get carried away. Aussies are still number one, and will remain so for the foreseeable future.

Maha-Lee

24 - 5 - 86 - 1 - 3.58
14 - 0 - 61 - 1 - 4.35

Why is nobody talking about Lee's awesome loss of form? Is he carrying an injury? Is he over the hill?

Where is the next great Australian quickie?

Or is it only an Indian phenomenon to make sure that someone who has missed a footing falls down to never get up again?

To go when people ask "Why?"

As a professional sportsman, one internalizes the fact that you can feed yourself only by getting the better of your opponents.

By outwitting defenders to create that scoring opporunity, by being part of that match-winning partnership that kept the scoreboard ticking, those frugal overs at the death that kept the marauder off strike, that impossible burst of speed in the last hundred metres of a marathon, that important tackle, that dive to propel the shuttle from inches off the ground- these are how a sportsman earns his roti-dal.

Day and night, in and out, he performs - and like any professional, he performs for that larger chunk of meat and more roti at the dinner table. A better car, a larger home, jewellery for his sister, whatever.

He learns that to get the things that money can buy, he needs to consistently get the better of opponents. And that cannot be done without the belief that you're indeed better. He believes until he knows. If he doubts it for a split second, its effects will show on his game, and hence on the quality of the roti. Which is why he will never admit to himself (forget anyone else) that he might be less than spectacular. A massive ego is essential to a succesful sportsman. I laugh whenever I hear someone say that Tendulkar is humble - oh, if only you could hear the disdainful voices in his head.

No sportsman worth his salt will voluntarily admit that he is not better than his opponent.
And that is why we have selectors.

If Anil Kumble is not to play at Mohali (for reasons of incompetence, not fitness), it is not Anil Kumble who will pull that trigger. It is not in the nature of a sportsman to do so. It requires someone who is much much more than a sportsman to go when people ask, "Why?".

Kat the itch

Soulberry was one of the few to readily agree with my association of Simon Katich with Luca Brasi. One of the king-nerds was adamant that Luca was the Don's trump card, and hence could certainly not be Simon Katich the Krab and journeyman.

Whatever. Luca got down and dirty.

And Katich did a fair bit of that in both innings. In the first, his assuredness against Ishant, Zaheer and then spin as well seemed to ease Ponting's nerves. And there was more of that in the second innings as well, his nervous demeanour cloaking some serious zen. This is also where Hayden's reputation is a weapon. He draws all the fire towards himself, leaving Katich to quietly go about his run-krabbing.

Where's that piano wire?

Hilarity

I just came across the anti-jrod: a scheme run by Loughborough University.

Hum ko chahiye thoda extra

Dhoni has gone and done it again. Granted there is no sense in picking on him alone, for even Laxman deserved to be spanked for that prod-nudge. But this is Dhoni we're talking about. Champion of the fresher pair of legs, that harbinger of a new dawn who is both leader of men as well as a general among strategists, and our best ODI batsman. For Kumble's days are certainly numbered, and if Dhoni does not come up with a defining innings soon, there might be another interim captain in the horizon. Since the England series, Dhoni has scored: 36, 57, 50*, 37, 0, 11, 2, 35, 19, 38, 16, 20, 16, 14, 52, 32. His last (and only) hundred was more than eighteen months ago.

More must be demanded of Dhoni in the Test outfit. If he plays to potential, the possibility of having a fifth bowler, at least in India, is not too distant.

The Long Ganguly Goodbye - Part I

I doubt any public figure elicits the extremes of opinion that Ganguly does. Very often from the same person. For instance, Ganguly is the person I'd curse loudest and longest when he would get caught off a snorter at second slip. The same might have been Dravid's or Tendulkar's fate as well, but I'd always be more reserved in my condemnation. At the same time, which other ill-built sportsman can take off his shirt on the world-stage, and still not embarass his countrymen?

For someone who we all loved to scream motherchod at the drop of a hat, he inspired the kind of loyalty in his teammates and from fans that could not be explained. People who might have alleged all sorts of sexual relationships between him and his family, would resort to all manner of convoluted logic to defend his spot in the team and his captaincy.

During this series, the Long Ganguly Goodbye will try and understand this phenomenon.

Hustler gangster XI - Australia in India 2008

Mathew Hayden is not only the tough guy, he wants you to know he's tough.
When he plays well, Australia do not lose. He is Marv. Not always pretty. You want him on your side.














Krab Katich. Not beautiful. Has a long history of flitting into the story - sometimes batting, sometimes as a chinaman, and of making way. Very useful man to have in your touring party. He is Luca Brasi.






















Pricky Ponting. Absolute superstar with just one gap on his CV and desperate to correct it. Also desperate to be liked, and considered a statesman of the game. The second half of his career has covered up any indiscretion in the first. He is Fast Eddie Felson towards the end of Color of Money. He's very annoying if he's not on your side.







Michael Clarke is a talented young man with a pretty mercurial rise for an Australian batsman. Has a hot chick. He's Vincent Lauria to Ponting's Eddie Felson. Playing on the same team how wierd is that?















Michael Hussey is most described as a consummate professional. Accused of being dispassionate, he proves them wrong when time and again he brings out that ingredient x which goes beyond talent alone. Can win you a match. Will scrape you a draw. Will never let the team down. Not very entertaining. He is Tom Hagen.











Brad Haddin is the guy they sent to sub Jesus. Doesnt look the part at all, but can be surprisingly effective. He has previously shown everyone how good he can be in India., but the shadow of Gilchrist is long. He's young Michael Corleone. On his first real assignment.
After the best training there is.













Cameron White is a specialist of the new game, but not too bad at the old one. Is not the best leg spinner around. Is not the best whacker of the cricket ball. But pretty useful fellow to bring along just in case. He is Kip Raines from Gone in 60 Seconds.


















Brett Lee is the best in the business. Loves to be humble or seen as humble. Like Bill who knew his craft, cunning and strength would not protect him forever. At the moment though, he's crusing; scything down anyone in his path - and has already had a legendary battle on his own turf.
















Mitchell Johnson can blow hot and blow cold. But India has previously brought out the best in him. Central to the plan of a new generation of Australian cricketers. Works hard, knows his game, knows he is not Akram and plays with what he has. He is Tommy from Goodfellas.










Stuart Clark will do all the dirty work, all day. He has the height and even thepace if he wants to. Prefers to use cunning. He is Big Chris from Lock, Stock and 2 Smoking Barrels.







Jason Krezja is not proven at the highest level. There is cocaine in his past. Recently got a pasting. But at the moment, he's all they have and he's who they'll have to rely on. Once in a while he is surprisingly coordinatied and competent. Not enough. He's Vinnie from Snatch.

Aussies add to the long list of uglies

Finally, the day is here.

Kamran Akmal - he of the undisputed supremacy on the visage issue, the champion of ugly, the emperor of the aesthetically challenged; finally has some competition.

Did you see Siddle?

The Ganguly question will continue..

Does Ganguly's selection close out the possibility of playing five bowlers without tampering with the Sehwag-Gambhir opening combo? Does Anil have the balls to drop Dada while retaining Gambhir?

The answer to this question might prove key to the results of this series. By pushing Dhoni to number 6 without pushing Dravid to the opener's slot, India still have the solid batting that can take care of Lee and Clark, and with enough firepower to score quick.

Hopefully, it is an option that Anil will consider in the first couple of matches. As is repeated often enough, the only way to beat them is by going very hard at them. I guess there is a time and a place for four bowlers. Not now. Not here.